fallen leaves
by 101spacemonkey
Summary: spencer is feeling down after revelations


**Disclaimer:** i dont own criminal minds or the song Fallen leaves – Billy Talent

**A/N:** please review! i love to know what people think

Spencer looked up. It was hopeless. He was still trapped with Tobias Hankel. He was going to die, he knew it, and no-one was going to rescue him.

Digging his own grave he gave in to the inevitable. He was going to die, lost forever to the world in a graveyard, 'how fitting' he laughed to himself as a leaf caught in the breeze struck him.

_**In a crooked little town, they were lost and never found  
Fallen leaves, fallen leaves, fallen leaves… on the ground  
**_

They were here, it was a rescue, and everything was going to be okay. Hotch had figured it out. Silently to himself, he thought back, 'the armies of Satan shall not prevail' but it wasn't true, as he went over to Tobias' body he silently hid the drugs. They had unlocked a whole world to him; they gave him something he couldn't find elsewhere. Riding in the ambulance he half listened to them as they listed his injuries to a worried Hotch.

_**I hitched a ride, until the coast  
To leave behind, all of my ghosts  
To Search for something, I couldn't find at home**_

He slid to the floor in the bathroom stall. He knew he couldn't keep this up. Who was he trying to kid, he was surrounded by the best profilers in the country, they were going to notice. 'I will give up' he thought, 'but after this one, I can give up, NO I AM NOT ADDICTED! So in fact there is nothing to give up' he smirked as he twisted the logic to his advantage.

_**Can't get no job, can you spare a dime?  
Just one more hit, and I'll be fine  
I swear to God, this'll be my one last time**_

_**Run away before you drown, or the streets will beat you down  
Fallen leaves, fallen leaves, fallen leaves… on the ground  
**_

Walking back into the bull pen, he glanced at his watch, he had to make sure that everything appeared normal and so he quickly slipped the watch over his cuff. Well as normal as he would be. He was feeling invincible, nothing could get him down. He ignored the memories of the past that kept swirling to the front of his mind, the cries of his mother as he had her sent to the institution. He remembered how he had felt, filled with guilt at her cries, and he embraced it, he deserved this.

_**  
When it gets dark, in Pigeon Park  
Voice in my head, will soon be fed  
By the vultures, that circle 'round the dead!**_

Gideon had noticed. He was afraid when Gideon had approached him about it. He had flown off, refusing to listen. 'It's not true, it can't be' he cried, 'I am not addicted, I am not an addict'. Gideon had placed his hand on his shoulder, 'its all right son' but he could handle it, had just screamed at him, what business was it of Gideon's?

_****__**I never once thought, I'd ever be caught!  
Staring at sidewalks, hiding my track marks!  
I left my best friends, or did they just leave me?  
**_

He kept running, he didn't stop till he found a park bench. It had been raining, and he didn't know where he was. He could hardly see from the rain, but could make out a bridge and a fast flowing river. Feeling cold he looked around, he was alone. It wasn't like anyone would miss him, would they? Slowly he stood up, and walked towards the bridge.

_****__**Run away before you drown, or the streets will beat you down  
Fallen leaves, fallen leaves, fallen leaves… on the ground  
**_

Gideon knew he couldn't leave Reid on his own. But unsure of where he was he had Garcia track the mobile while he filled Hotch in. Hotch had suspected but had feared the truth, the truth of what Gideon was saying filled him with shame, why hadn't he acted sooner? Leaving Morgan in charge they rushed to where the phone track had pinpointed Spencer. The rain was blinding, but Hotch could make out a lone figure standing on the ledge of the bridge. Gideon remained calm as usual, despite the fear in his heart, he walked towards Spencer.

'SPENCER! Please, don't' said Gideon, 'you can beat this'

'I-I-I have to do this, I can't do this anymore' he cried, his tears mixing with the rain.

_****__**Run away before you drown!  
**_

Hotch had stepped forward, taking up where Gideon had left off, 'Spencer, its Hotch, don't do this, we will help you, we are your friends, we will fight this together. I believe in you, the team believes in you. We need you'

Spencer sobbed, 'you believe in me?' looking over at were Hotch stood, now drenched by the rain. Hotch simply nodded.

Slowly Spencer climbed back onto the bridge. He collapsed to his knees, his arms wrapped around him in a protective self hug.

Hotch rang an ambulance, as Gideon ran towards Spencer and engulfed him in a hug. Hotch slowly approached them, and watched silently as a leaf flew through the sky and stuck to Reid's arm.

_****__**  
Fallen leaves, fallen leaves, fallen leaves… on the ground**_

A/N:_****__** reviews are love! **_


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